Wednesday, January 7, 2009

If you put me to the test

When ABBA first came on the scene in the 70’s, it was so totally uncool to like disco or ABBA that even uncool me and my rollerskating buddies wouldn’t be caught dead listening to it. Growing up, probably the only other artistic expression I despised more than ABBA was the musical. But I have come a long way. I now find ABBA tolerable and I am able to suspend reality long enough to enjoy musicals.

Mama Mia! (the film) has won many awards, is the highest grossing musical of all time and is the most successful British-made film ever. What does this tell us? Other than an obvious need to question the legitimacy of Wikipedia entries, these stats provide further evidence that the masses still have not got a frickin clue.

Mama Mia! Is the worst movie I’ve ever seen walked out on halfway through. In this sad sack farce, everyone appears to have their voices dubbed, the lush scenery is redundant, James Bond looks like he’d rather suffer multiple colonoscopies than sing or dance and Meryl Streep is so god dang annoying and airbrushed that you just want to shove some baklava down her throat and hoist her up by her dumbass suspenders. Sure, it is meant to be corny. I can do corny (“Hairspray” reference alert!). But there is a difference between fun corny and bad corny and that’s way too many times I’ve spelled out corny so I’ll stop there.

I’d rather sit through Keanu Reeves in “A Walk in the Clouds” or be subjected to Andie MacDowell butchering her lines in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” than watch Mama Mia! again. I owe my wife a new Christmas present.

Here’s the music of ABBA done right via reallyREALLYbadvideosfromtheearly90’sdotcalm:

Video :: Take A Chance On Me (ABBA cover) by Erasure

1 comment:

Frank said...

Thank you, Craig!

You said it just right. I admit I absolutely love some disco but ABBA doesn't make that cut and I still can't stomach musicals made after, oh, say, Singing In The Rain. But your disgust with this gruesome movie echoes with me!

That this movie is wicked awesome popular speaks poorly of the populace.