Sing along with the common people

I'm extremely envious of all the talented people who share their joy at RU conference talent shows with their pogo-sticking, hula-hooping, somersaulting, ballad crooning, interpretive dancing, fire-ball juggling, knife throwing, lion taming...! All my whining about having no demonstrable talent of my own seems to have spawned a demented desire in the other members of my family to come up with something presentable for me. Currently they're on a Conrad Birdie kick and are, this very second, taking my measurements for the gold lame jumpsuit they plan to whip up (refer to photo)! However, there's a lack of agreement as to which song and dance routine I am to perform from Bye Bye Birdie and how many background singers/ swooning sycophantic slags are required. While they struggle to work it all out, I'm secretly planning to pip them at the post and commence practicing a pointy-limbed dance and lip synch number as immortalized by the angular Jarvis Cocker in Pulp's "Common People". I may first have to shed some pounds.

Common People Video